It's February. Time flies when you're stoned off your ass on opiates and can barely move. I've been doing short updates on FB but I think they are lacking in some major details. So here goes, as best as I can remember it:
I had the big surgery on November 10 and spent a week in the hospital recovering. Overall that went fine, but I think they gave me the boot a day or two too early. I was taking 10 mg of oxycodone every 2 hours and 45 minutes, plus a bunch of other stuff and I barely made it up the stairs.
For the next several weeks I recovered as expected. A physical therapist came by and confirmed that I wasn't safe on the stairs (I fell while she was here) and we all agreed that I shouldn't try to go up or down without Bob there to catch me. I didn't fall again, but I really didn't leave my bedroom for another month. Fortunately, we've been super careful and I haven't fallen again.
When they sent me home, there were no stitches on my incisions, just surgical glue and scabs. Several weeks in the glue started falling off (as expected), but some of the incisions started opening up again and we started having to dress them, several on each "breast" (technical term now is "flap") and one big one on my abdomen, and my new navel was leaking too.
Around christmas the doc suggested that I come in "next week" and go into the OR and they'd just stitch up those spots. We agreed and I was feeling pretty good. But then there were no slots available in the OR until January 21. So I continued to ooze, some of the incisions did heal, some got worse.
At some point I sneezed while I was lying in bed, and there was this huge wave of pain through my abdomen. When I got up the next morning blood just fell out of the opening on my waist. It looked like we slaughtered a pig in here. It wasn't a new tear, it was a compartment that had opened up. That changed how we addressed the wounds a little bit. (More gauze, more packing.)
January 21 came (which, incidentally, is the anniversary of the mastectomy. The surgery went fine, except for that mess on my abdomen. The doctor said it was "dirty" but not infected. Basically some areas of adipose tissue were just dying off in there. UGH. So they installed the a temp wound vac while I was under. This is a routine I thought I knew. The major pieces are the same. What is different this time is it hurts like hell. Last year when I had one, the skin was necrotic and so the only thing that really hurt was pulling the drape off for a dressing change.
(To review if you forgot or missed it - a wound vacuum system consists of black foam that they pack into the wound, a sticky piece of plastic film they put over it to create an airtight seal, and a tube that runs through the plastic film into a machine that keeps a low but steady vacuum pressure. Any liquid produced is sucked into the canister of the vacuum, and the pressure encourages new tissue to form in the cavity. The catch is that the new tissue grows into the foam, and so when they rip that foam out three days a week to change the dressing, they are ripping out tissue.)
So last time, the nerves around where the tissue was coming back were dead. This time they are not. Out of everything I've been through in the last two years I still think that the pneumothorax (slightly collapsed lung) was the most painful thing I've experienced. This is number two. And it hurts ALL THE TIME. I actually screamed the first couple of times they pulled the foam out. It's getting easier now - we're remembering stuff from last time, like taking a shower and using coconut oil to get the plastic off before the nurse gets here and letting some saline soak into the foam with the vacuum off to help it expand and let go easier. Still hurts like hell though.
The surgeon wants me to keep the wound vac until all the bad spots are gone and the tissue is fully granulated (which just means actively growing), and then it's back to the OR for one more surgery to stitch that hole up for good. I had planned to go back to work a week from this Monday. There's no way that's happening. It's going to be another month at least. The wound vac wouldn't prevent me from working, it's the pain meds that make it a bad/impossible idea. The opening in my skin is 16cm by 12cm right now, and I think about 6cm deep.
I am making an effort to get out more. I went and got my nails done and my face maintenance (waxing some hair, tinting other hair) yesterday. I usually do those things every 3-4 weeks. I hadn't done it since October. I feel better now that those things are back in shape.
Today wasn't so great. I went bra shopping for the first time and really learned how different my body is now. I completely lost it in the dressing room and on the way home. I realized that I've been containing everything by concentrating on whatever the next hoop is that I need to jump through. I'm on the last one or two now. Trying to figure out what "normal" will be for me given everything that has happened might be the hardest thing of all of it for me.
I had the big surgery on November 10 and spent a week in the hospital recovering. Overall that went fine, but I think they gave me the boot a day or two too early. I was taking 10 mg of oxycodone every 2 hours and 45 minutes, plus a bunch of other stuff and I barely made it up the stairs.
For the next several weeks I recovered as expected. A physical therapist came by and confirmed that I wasn't safe on the stairs (I fell while she was here) and we all agreed that I shouldn't try to go up or down without Bob there to catch me. I didn't fall again, but I really didn't leave my bedroom for another month. Fortunately, we've been super careful and I haven't fallen again.
When they sent me home, there were no stitches on my incisions, just surgical glue and scabs. Several weeks in the glue started falling off (as expected), but some of the incisions started opening up again and we started having to dress them, several on each "breast" (technical term now is "flap") and one big one on my abdomen, and my new navel was leaking too.
Around christmas the doc suggested that I come in "next week" and go into the OR and they'd just stitch up those spots. We agreed and I was feeling pretty good. But then there were no slots available in the OR until January 21. So I continued to ooze, some of the incisions did heal, some got worse.
At some point I sneezed while I was lying in bed, and there was this huge wave of pain through my abdomen. When I got up the next morning blood just fell out of the opening on my waist. It looked like we slaughtered a pig in here. It wasn't a new tear, it was a compartment that had opened up. That changed how we addressed the wounds a little bit. (More gauze, more packing.)
January 21 came (which, incidentally, is the anniversary of the mastectomy. The surgery went fine, except for that mess on my abdomen. The doctor said it was "dirty" but not infected. Basically some areas of adipose tissue were just dying off in there. UGH. So they installed the a temp wound vac while I was under. This is a routine I thought I knew. The major pieces are the same. What is different this time is it hurts like hell. Last year when I had one, the skin was necrotic and so the only thing that really hurt was pulling the drape off for a dressing change.
(To review if you forgot or missed it - a wound vacuum system consists of black foam that they pack into the wound, a sticky piece of plastic film they put over it to create an airtight seal, and a tube that runs through the plastic film into a machine that keeps a low but steady vacuum pressure. Any liquid produced is sucked into the canister of the vacuum, and the pressure encourages new tissue to form in the cavity. The catch is that the new tissue grows into the foam, and so when they rip that foam out three days a week to change the dressing, they are ripping out tissue.)
So last time, the nerves around where the tissue was coming back were dead. This time they are not. Out of everything I've been through in the last two years I still think that the pneumothorax (slightly collapsed lung) was the most painful thing I've experienced. This is number two. And it hurts ALL THE TIME. I actually screamed the first couple of times they pulled the foam out. It's getting easier now - we're remembering stuff from last time, like taking a shower and using coconut oil to get the plastic off before the nurse gets here and letting some saline soak into the foam with the vacuum off to help it expand and let go easier. Still hurts like hell though.
The surgeon wants me to keep the wound vac until all the bad spots are gone and the tissue is fully granulated (which just means actively growing), and then it's back to the OR for one more surgery to stitch that hole up for good. I had planned to go back to work a week from this Monday. There's no way that's happening. It's going to be another month at least. The wound vac wouldn't prevent me from working, it's the pain meds that make it a bad/impossible idea. The opening in my skin is 16cm by 12cm right now, and I think about 6cm deep.
I am making an effort to get out more. I went and got my nails done and my face maintenance (waxing some hair, tinting other hair) yesterday. I usually do those things every 3-4 weeks. I hadn't done it since October. I feel better now that those things are back in shape.
Today wasn't so great. I went bra shopping for the first time and really learned how different my body is now. I completely lost it in the dressing room and on the way home. I realized that I've been containing everything by concentrating on whatever the next hoop is that I need to jump through. I'm on the last one or two now. Trying to figure out what "normal" will be for me given everything that has happened might be the hardest thing of all of it for me.
