I went for my check-in with the oncologist this morning. My next (and final) chemo infusion is a week from today. My bloodwork looks pretty good - I am definitely anemic, but managing to stay a hair above the cutoff for intervention. Everything else is fine. I am just so tired all the time now.
I'm going to do pilates tomorrow, but I haven't been to the gym since pilates last week. I dressed up and went and did something moderately social last Friday afternoon and spent the whole weekend in bed recovering from it. I was going to go to the gym yesterday, but going to lunch with a friend and an hour of very low energy shopping (replacing underwear and t-shirts for the gym) just took it out of me. I had to sit in the car and rest for a while before venturing in to Trader Joe's to pick up something lazy for dinner.
So basically it means I need to pick one or two small things to do in a day, and that's it. It's really frustrating. I'm bored, I want to do stuff, but there is such a steep price to pay. Today's things are the oncologist and making dinner tonight. Tomorrow's things will be the gym and a phone call to stanford to settle some billing BS with them.
I think it's worse right now because I'm so close to the end and I just want to be done and move on from this. But there's also the knowledge that some of the chemo side effects can be permanent. Some people get their energy back, and some people don't. Just because I'm officially done with my last chemo cycle four weeks from today doesn't necessarily mean this will improve. That's a little scary.
I'm going to do pilates tomorrow, but I haven't been to the gym since pilates last week. I dressed up and went and did something moderately social last Friday afternoon and spent the whole weekend in bed recovering from it. I was going to go to the gym yesterday, but going to lunch with a friend and an hour of very low energy shopping (replacing underwear and t-shirts for the gym) just took it out of me. I had to sit in the car and rest for a while before venturing in to Trader Joe's to pick up something lazy for dinner.
So basically it means I need to pick one or two small things to do in a day, and that's it. It's really frustrating. I'm bored, I want to do stuff, but there is such a steep price to pay. Today's things are the oncologist and making dinner tonight. Tomorrow's things will be the gym and a phone call to stanford to settle some billing BS with them.
I think it's worse right now because I'm so close to the end and I just want to be done and move on from this. But there's also the knowledge that some of the chemo side effects can be permanent. Some people get their energy back, and some people don't. Just because I'm officially done with my last chemo cycle four weeks from today doesn't necessarily mean this will improve. That's a little scary.
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