My weekend was good. We spent Saturday evening at a pig roast with old friends and then had Paul over for dinner last night.
It's now time for my weekly case of I-don't-wanna. It's scary to be confident about going into an infusion, because who knows what the hell else could go wrong. Hello pretzel logic. I called in refills for a couple of my prescriptions today, because on Friday I'm moving into a hotel for a week and don't want to have to come back to my pharmacy if I run out of stuff. Next week I'll be going straight from chemo to a party for the marketing team. Kind of surreal.
If I need altaplase tomorrow, I'm OK with that. If the drugs work as well as last week, I'll be OK with that too. More than OK. I'm going to need the steroids to get through this week for sure though. In a lot of ways I've been mentally prepping myself for next week, not the end of the trial, or the end of chemo altogether, or surgery. JavaOne. Oracle Open World. The week of my life that is so busy I don't have time to come home so I live in a hotel, which if our room is on the right side of it, probably has a view of my house across the bay.
Dexter is going to go live with Rita's family for the week. Natalia will come feed the cats. I can come home if I need to. I've cut way back on my obligations this year, but I can't imagine missing it. JavaOne is where I met Bob in 2009. It's a chance to see so many friends from around the world that I haven't seen since I stopped traveling earlier this year. I am incredibly lucky to work with a group of people who I really care about, and who I genuinely look forward to spending this time with. It's a lot more to me than just my job, so I'm doing what I can to be there and do it right.
Once it's done, I can let go of everything else. Be sick. Take time off. Read a book. I don't know if I will. But I can.
It's now time for my weekly case of I-don't-wanna. It's scary to be confident about going into an infusion, because who knows what the hell else could go wrong. Hello pretzel logic. I called in refills for a couple of my prescriptions today, because on Friday I'm moving into a hotel for a week and don't want to have to come back to my pharmacy if I run out of stuff. Next week I'll be going straight from chemo to a party for the marketing team. Kind of surreal.
If I need altaplase tomorrow, I'm OK with that. If the drugs work as well as last week, I'll be OK with that too. More than OK. I'm going to need the steroids to get through this week for sure though. In a lot of ways I've been mentally prepping myself for next week, not the end of the trial, or the end of chemo altogether, or surgery. JavaOne. Oracle Open World. The week of my life that is so busy I don't have time to come home so I live in a hotel, which if our room is on the right side of it, probably has a view of my house across the bay.
Dexter is going to go live with Rita's family for the week. Natalia will come feed the cats. I can come home if I need to. I've cut way back on my obligations this year, but I can't imagine missing it. JavaOne is where I met Bob in 2009. It's a chance to see so many friends from around the world that I haven't seen since I stopped traveling earlier this year. I am incredibly lucky to work with a group of people who I really care about, and who I genuinely look forward to spending this time with. It's a lot more to me than just my job, so I'm doing what I can to be there and do it right.
Once it's done, I can let go of everything else. Be sick. Take time off. Read a book. I don't know if I will. But I can.
Take care of yourself and enjoy Java One! Say hello from me to any mods you bump into.
ReplyDeleteI hope you'll have a great time and wish you the strength to do all the things you want to do.
Regards,
Phil