We just got back from Calistoga today. We had a great couple of days at the spa. I wish I had more energy, but the nausea from the last round of chemo has been gone for at least a week. My bones are still achy but I can't take any Alleve now because we're so close to surgery, and I don't want to take any opiates because I don't want to do anything to raise my tolerance this close to surgery. I also like being awake when I can be.
I'm starting to be a little shakier around the edges. I'm generally anxious and get frustrated really easily now. I'm nervous about the test results. I'm nervous about the surgery. I'm nervous about the amount of pain I'll be in and for how long.
I'm definitely thinking more about the mastectomy than losing my ovaries and fallopian tubes. Parts I've never seen and never worked properly I won't miss. Hormone replacement therapy is what it is and I'll take some pills to make up for them being gone. Breasts are a different thing entirely. It's not like losing a limb. There's no functionality (that I've ever used) to lose here. I know intellectually what's going to happen, but I'm completely incapable of wrapping my head around it.
I'm starting to be a little shakier around the edges. I'm generally anxious and get frustrated really easily now. I'm nervous about the test results. I'm nervous about the surgery. I'm nervous about the amount of pain I'll be in and for how long.
I'm definitely thinking more about the mastectomy than losing my ovaries and fallopian tubes. Parts I've never seen and never worked properly I won't miss. Hormone replacement therapy is what it is and I'll take some pills to make up for them being gone. Breasts are a different thing entirely. It's not like losing a limb. There's no functionality (that I've ever used) to lose here. I know intellectually what's going to happen, but I'm completely incapable of wrapping my head around it.
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